When you don't feel heard in a relationship..

When two people attempt to talk ( mostly couples)to each other, it becomes heated and ends up in a fight.

Does it happen with you?

When you feel unheard, you might experience a sense of abandonment or even shame at times which is common not only in a marriage relationship but any relationship.Well, this doesn't mean your communication is bad....!!!Without the capacity for good listening, communication becomes irrelevant do you think I am right?

Let's check it out....!!!

Solid, healthy communication is essential in any relationship because it’s the pathway to intimacy.The inability to be a good listener can come up from several issues, and it is important to understand in order to fix things. Do not  assume that your partner doesn’t want to hear you or is not interested to pick up a conversation anymore.

Assumptions always lead of stress and no peace...

Timing can also stop the person from  being a good listener. Trying to share what you have to say when your partner is just walking in the door after work is not a right time for being heard.

Agree....?

Well, try to be interactive via a role play....

1. Well, check for the right time to start a conversation.Ask your partner if its a good time to talk.

2. When you talk to your partner, speak concisely—stay on topic and convey the most important points.

3. Pause in between statements to know if your partner heard you.If he missed any, do not hesitate to repeat.Have patience when you talk/convey any message.

4. Now let your partner respond or express his or her thoughts and feelings with you as the listener.Remember not to interrupt the speaker which displays your listening skills.

5. It is very important for both the parties to be active listeners if you are really willing to resolve and move forward towards building a healthy relationship.

The challenge for the listening party is to resist making a point or responding defensive.Sometimes a partner can feel overwhelmed by his or her own feelings, forcing the person to shut down or stop listening.There is no harm if you calm down for a moment and let the person vent out and then make him /her understand.

Communication & boundaries allow both to maintain a Healthy relationships which also allow both partners to feel supported and connected but still feel independent.

-Sushma C